Renew my thinking

Ok so I have been struggling with my weight my whole life.... I have three beautiful SMALLLLLLLL, sister's and I am the one who has always been more curvy. Yes they are studies out there on how to love your body. That you are not the number on the scale but those are all things we say but no one really lives like that. I mean we have days that we feel like we are on top of the world. We don't feel like the number on the scale. We don't need to lose 4 or 5 more lbs. But those days are far in between . So I made up my mind that I am going to challenge my self to take FULL  sizes photo's of my self and post them. Not to get oh wow you look good... just to take away that fear. You know the fear that people on the other side of computer are saying wow Edith really has gotten big. Or did you see what she is wearing... I WANT THE POWER BACK....I want more then to read God's word where it says that he made me beautiful.... I want to believe it. Yes I am  working on losing weight . I know I will my whole life. I will buy the wraps. Drink the pills all to get down to what ever size. I don't even know the size... I have met and talked with ladies who I think have great bodies and in 5 munties will tell me why they need to work on there bodies or need to lose 5 more lbs. So I don't know what the number is ... I think the key is JOY.... Yep Joy in my own skin. Not in my head. To stop those lies and really just enjoy myself.. Not take 10 photo's before posting ... Or make my friend to stand on a chair so my neck will look long... I mean that is sad when people meet me some may say you look so thin in your photo's but you are NOT.... LOL. 

Like my sweet Isabell said to me the other day mom you always tell me to love my self. But you hate your self why?  I think the Lord gave me her so I could be on my knees all day some time... Ouch she is right. I tell my girls daily how pretty they are but they just hear me say wow I want to change this or that... I am such a lair.... 

    Now this Challenge is for me if you want to join me please do . Some days I may be dress some days I may have my PJs that I wore all day with no MAKE UP..... Just let you guys know so I have to do it. I really wanted to do this for a long time but am to much of a chicken ... love you ladies please pray that my image of me will change to a healthy God fearing one... That I may have Joy just because I am the daughter of the King and nothing else...