Eyes tell the story~~~~~

    I have to say writting this blog is going to be hard.  But for me as all my friends know keeping it in just makes it hard to breath..... As am writing this I am hearing the song is     "JUST Breath"..We are tried this ride we got on 2 years ago is a hard one. I am always nervous to write because I don't want people to roll their eyes and say here we go again .... she is talking about cancer and the hardish... Get over it!!! At least that is a lie that I have to fight in my head~~~~~ Clearly no one has said that to us praise the Lord but to be honest all my prayer request are always about scans and tests that we going to have . Cory and I want to be done with it. We thought we would be. You see two weeks ago Cory went for his Chemotherapy that he gets every other Wednesday and the Dr. told him you are doing so well that we can say we can stop Chemo!!!!! Praise the Lord !!!! All Cory had to do was go and get his FRIST SCAN  not a big deal after chemo. Cory went and got is scan gave it to the Dr.  and came home the happiest he has been in a long time. All smiles we told every one praising the Lord for the Healing that the Lord done.... Then this past Wednesday we went in for chemo. ready to hear that we could stop chemo. the Dr came in and started reading the scans and would not say a word or even look at us.... We went from happy to worry....... Those few mintues felt like forever.... Then he sat down with a sick feeling on his face. The look in his eyes that did not look good...  He said " well I have good news and then just news"

 I wanted to throw up .... he said " Cory your first surgery saved your life.... " YES when we first look at your scans we where so concer in saving your life that we ..... Over looked something.... We over looked and never treated your stomach cancer!!!!!!!! What   is all I could say. We need to do a PT scan and see if the cancer is still there. and if it is we will have to start doing hard chemo again. and with this new news we can not stop doing chemo at all. I am sorry"~~~~~ talk about the rug being pulled from under us. He said something that stood out on me . He said "Cory I can see in your eyes that you are tried. That you are done. You have to keep fighting .... Don't give up!!!! "Well he walked out ... Cory and I held hands and walked down stairs to get chmeo. not saying one word just looking at each other feeling lost overwhelmed , scared  to what will come. The nurse who know us so well said you too look tried ~~~ I started to cry not the good cry the cring that you make loud sounds and feel like breathing is the hardest thing you can do .... yep that bad.... She hugged me and made me laugh by being silly and encouraging. Cory was just quite because he new if he would talk he would start cring. The nurse said  "you still have that smile Cory keep strong you will be find"... My sister Loren called me from Peru and talked with me ; cried with me and best of all made me laugh. How I miss her on these days :(((( I call my sweet Mother in law and gave her the second hardest news at work she is always so strong telling us to not give up on hope and faith.... When Cory talked to his sweet mama he could hardly talk he was like a little boy saying yes mama love you mama.... I just thought how Louis is my baby and how hard it would be for me to see my baby boy hurting.... I can not image what my mom feels when she talks to her baby boy. Then I talked to my other sisters one was like we are here for you and the other was ALLLL postisive ..... Then I called my mommy. She was strong keeping the faith. I do have to say that them all reminding us of Gods answer prayer really helped Cory and I . We have faith that the PT scans are going to be clear . Yes he will still have to keep doing chemo. which is hard . But we will keep the faith God is still in control and he is writing our story. I pray that he will give us rest. We need time to pray, eat and rest..... 

Pray request is next Wednesday at 5 Cory is going in for his scan and Thursday we are getting the results. So far my thought have been strong . I do want to just throw up all day but other then that I have been blessed with great friends that have loved on my family. Taking the girls out , bring dinner and even taking Cory out for a good guy movie.... Truly so much to be blessed for!!! I do miss my sister Loren and wish I could just have her hear with me. She is truly gifted in understanding all the big words that Dr.s say and she was just very encouraging but the Lord send those in the time that are needed..... Going to Missy this weekend to just breath....