Walking by faith is hard....

Walking by faith it is so hard.  I know fail  all the time. I am always working on  plan B.  I read the word where it says that the Lord will take care of all of my needs ...YES   But still work on selling stuff doing something to make things work faster then waiting. It's like when you are watching what you are eating and then you over eat you kick your self because you should  of just walked a way!!!! That is how I feel when I work on plan B.... This after noon I let my thought take over and while Cory was making my girls closet work better for us I had a anxiety attack. I told him "Honey I feel like I am going to have a heart attack".... But I stopped and took a deep breath . Praise the Lord that I have his Word that is true and stronger then anything EVERY WHERE  in our house ... the verse  Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren,whatever is TRUE,   ( Edith you are sitting nursing your baby...) whatever is honorable, ( Edith the Lord is sitting with you RIGHT know) whatever is right, ( Edith the Lord loves you more then the bird) whatever is pure, ( God is pure) whatever is lovely ( your girls are lovely) good what ever is of repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of PRAISE, dwell on these things.... stop and pray .

That is what I did... Cory was like "honey are you okay."  Yep it just left. You see I have been off my anxiety meds for two weeks. I know.... why did you get off ?.... Not that I am against it AT ALLLLLLLLLLL  but I just felt one is was such a small dose.  Second I am always going to have a reason to fear , doubt , worry . I need to lean on the Lord and Learn to deal with these thoughts.... this is so hard... Now I am sure of it if things in life become more then I can handle I have not problem to get back on them .... But for today speaking out loud to myself of where I am and what God is doing gave me peace. I am ok with that today...  Walking by faith is hard. At times so much more then I can handle ... but I think that is the point!!!!! I am not suppose to handle it . Cast your worries on me says the Lord.. He can handle them  for  me. I know that is the only reason that I can walk this walk that is only going to getting harder and with alot more question... I do NEED PRAYER!!!!  I can do nothing with out prayer..... Please pray for me  that I will stop working on plan B's ... That when my thoughts take over and my fear takes over that I will feel the Lord holding me...  

Thank you for all the ones who pray for me .. Thank you for all the encouraging words daily that I get ... most of all thank you for letting me share....  Funny thing is I was not going to write about any of this when I started... I was going to share about how I miss my babies but I guess the Lord had other plans LOL...